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12:12am 25/01/2003
  I missed this journal so I decided to update it...

didn't you miss it too?

mwah!
 
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Autumn Shade~the vines   
05:18pm 26/10/2002
  Slip into the autumn shade
I could sleep for days
But I like the sun when
i can hear another sound
It's a long way down
Keep my head up

Who am I to be this way
Dreamin so insane
but i like the sun when
falling through another plain
never one the same
keep my head up
 
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09:27pm 25/10/2002
  too bad the spark.com isn't working...

I really feel like I should be taking the "pathetic retard" test right now...

I've updated my livejournal like 87 times now...

I've emailed dave...

I even imed him even though I could see he was away...

pathetic or what?

I just don't know what to do with myself.

I've never been more anxious in my life...

I don't like waiting...

I have absolutely no patience...

I won't be able to sleep tonight....

and I know that sleep will be my only refuge...

but I won't be able to sleep alone in my bed...

not after i'm so used to you being there....

so if you feel like talking or anything else...

my door is open...
 
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09:24pm 25/10/2002
  the only time I absolutely need someone to talk to...

and no one is online...

even more alone...I thought it wasn't possible...
 
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09:12pm 25/10/2002
  I'm like an addict...

and you're the drug...

I don't function without you...

I'm the druggie that loves the addiction...
 
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it gets worse everytime...but I'll put up with it forever if it would make you happy...   
08:25pm 25/10/2002
  I've never felt so lonely in my entire life...

never...

I feel completely traped...

I hate it here right now...

I don't want to be alone...

when I'm alone...I cry...

when I'm with you...I cry...

I was perfectly fine 2 hours ago...why did I have to ask...

if I didn't ask...would you have just forgotten?

I know we can make it better...if you're willing to try...

I'm afraid to try...becuase it hurts so much...

I don't think i've ever said this before...but right now...I wish I could just lay down and die...then it wouldn't matter at all...nothing would matter...

maybe you'll make the right decision...maybe you won't...but either way...we'll both have to live with it...

I can't tell you what is right...I don't know....

all I know is what i feel is right...but that doesn't matter...

I can't beg an plead with you...because that would make me pathetic...

maybe I already am...

all I know is...I Love You and you love me(at least thats what you said and I do believe you)...so where does that leave us...

here...

you wondering what to do next....

and me wondering if my heart could possible break any more...

wondering if I will get what i want...

which is the ability to keep you happy...

I'd do anything to make you happy...
 
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THIS IS FOR BETHANY!!!   
06:10pm 25/10/2002
  I bought some cd's today...and I bought the john mayer cd and I was looking at the back of it and I was like this almost looks like a periodic table...and so I bought it...not for the periodic table looking thing but because I wanted it...

and then I opened it up...and right there on the cd was

A PERIODIC TABLE

 
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I stold this from mitch cause i thought it was funny!   
11:32am 25/10/2002
  1. Had sex in three or more positions in one session?yep
2. Had sex continuously for 1 hour or more? yep
3. Devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating,etc)? no but maybe sunday!
4. Been so loud having sex that people complained? no but I've worried about that
5. Had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone? Yeah
6. Brought your partner to orgasm using only your hands? yep
7. Had sex while both fully dressed? yeah because you don't want to get all the way nakie when your parents are home...
8. Had sex while both standing up? yeah!
9. Performed oral sex on a man? yeah
10. Performed oral sex on a woman? nope
11. Received oral sex from a man? 3 weeks a month...
12. Received oral sex from a woman? nope
13. Used position number 69? YES YES YES!
14. Intentionally swallowed semen (your own counts)? yes, but it wasn't mine...I don't really think I have "semen"
15. Had heterosexual intercourse using no birth control? yeah, i was "dancing with the devil"
16. Had sex during menstruation? yes...because my friend goes away at night...its cool like that
17. Used whipped cream, chocolate syrup, etc... for sexual purposes? no, but I will someday
18. Used ice for sexual purposes? yes I like ice...
19. Completely shaved off your pubic hair? all the time...i don't like it much...
20. Purchased a sex toy? no but that would be funny...not to use it...just to purchase it...I can just imagine buying one...and it happens to be an old lady that gets to ring you up...that would be funny...
21. Received anal intercourse (receiving end, toys count)? nope...exit only!
22. Forced or coerced someone having sex with you? convinced?
23. Had sex with a virgin? me...
24. Been involved in adultery? no
25. Had sex with someone the same day you met them? no I believe in the 3 month rule...
26. Had sex with someone whose name you did not know? nope
27. Been openly homosexual or bisexual? no
28. Had more than 10 sex partners? just one for me...
29. Been in a threesome? no
30. Engaged in group sex? no
31. Had sex in a public place? I will once it gets warmer...look out miller fountain
32. Had sex in a car (moving or stationary)? no becuase daves truck is small...
33. Become a member of the mile high club? no daves never even been in a plane...
34. Had sex in the water (hot tub, shower, pool, etc)? yes...I> like that...
35. Been walked in on while having sex? no
36. Had sex while you knew someone else was watching? no
37. Engaged in bondage? no maybe one day though
 
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Lisa...where did your brain go???   
07:47pm 21/10/2002
  I was looking over the results that people had gotten on my quiz...and I saw that lisa got a 50...

and then I looked at the questions she answered wrong...and wanted to whack her...
Lisa how could you get the bowling score one wrong...you were there???

and I've known michelle since we were in the same kindergarden class...consecutively it's been you...but the longest truthfully is her...

you're just a silly silly kid lisa...

but I still love you!!!
 
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for anyone I forgot...   
01:15pm 21/10/2002
  Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!  
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roll over and pull your pants down...   
10:58pm 17/10/2002
  So i have a ton of work to do this weekend...and I'm comming home...so I really don't want to be doing work...it really quite sucks!

on a good note... I got 100 percent on my chem quiz...

and i got an 86 on the last paper I wrote...

woo hooo...

I'm having steak for dinner satruday night...

mmmmm.....

I'm hungry now...

thats all I guess...
 
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Just so I don't get pulled into the middle of this...   
12:02pm 16/10/2002
  I like ALL of my friends...every one of you...

sure you all have your faults and little things that annoy me...

and its not my place to point them out...

especially in LIVEJOURNAL...

anyways..I just wanted to let everyone know that I am neutral...

don't ask me for an opinion...because I won't give one...

don't complain to me about others...because I won't listen...

Thats it...I'm completely neutral...

and I'm not trying to say I'm a saint or anything...because I have partaken in the joking around about others flaws...I guess I'm just flawed too...
 
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and the spark.com says...   
03:24pm 15/10/2002
  I am...

31% sexy

30% gay...thats not a lot...most girls are 32%

and 79% trustworthy

it also says that my personallity type is

Submissive, Introver, Concrete, feeler...

I didn't copy all the cool stuff it said about me...I was just excited that I'm a "concrete feeler" thats right...I rub sidewalk...ooo baby...
 
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this is for michelle...   
03:20pm 15/10/2002
  Name one place you would give anything to visit before you die: Italy

Name one famous/well-known person you'd like to spend the day with: sponge bob square pants...I've heard he's gay...and I've always wanted a gay best friend...

Name a famous person you'd like to get it on with: Doug Rob

Name something "crazy" you'd want to experience: I want to run the naked mile...fully clothed...ok so I really don't know...
 
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oh yeah guys..   
10:27pm 13/10/2002
  I don't think we made it until you were out of the parking lot...  
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...   
09:39pm 13/10/2002
  So the kida came out and visited me for my birthday...

It was nice...

We had a lot of fun...

Monopoly doesn't really make a good drinking game...

so I just drank the vodka without the monopoly...

After a few (10-12) shots..>I was a little tipsy...

It was nice...

that was the first time I've been drunk since I've been to college...

I'm proud of myself...

and it felt really good not to worry about anything last night...

just to hang out and have some good laughs with some good friends...

THanks Guys...
 
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lost   
10:49pm 10/10/2002
  I don't know whether to be pissed off...

or to cry...

I don't know whether I should lash out...

or apoligize...

I don't know if I should talk to you...

or leave you alone...

I don't know what I did...

but I don't like it...

I don't know what you're thinking...

thats not unusual...

I feel sick...

I love you...

if you're reading this...

please come over...

tell me what I did...

tell me how to make it better...

tell me something...
 
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10:41pm 10/10/2002
  I love you so much...

yet you have this wonderful way of making me feel like shit...

often...

just being with you is nice...

but its nice when you notice that I'm actually there when I am...

I don't mind the time apart...

its the times we're together that you ignore me that I dislike...

I didn't say I was done talking because of you...

it was just because I was done talking...

I told you I was stressed lately...

and you know I haven't been feeling well...

you shouldn't assume what you don't know...
 
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I have a new journal...   
10:50am 09/10/2002
  I have a new journal

fwordjenni

um...so if you want to be on my friends list or something leave a comment...and add me...becuase thats probabably where I'll be posting from now on...but then again who knows...I might keep this one too...eh well...
 
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10:42am 07/10/2002
  I tired...

of everything...
 
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